heatherheatherheather

one week

2008-07-17T14:17:00.002-04:00

sometimes you just feel everything and nothing all at once. sometimes you find yourself smiling while missing something at the same time. at times you can absolutely love a person, while finding the need to hate them. life comes without guarantees.

Wasted

2008-07-15T19:55:00.008-04:00

summerschool sucks sooo bad and it's at the worst school known to man (lake taylor) i could pretty much die in that school. you would think monday through thursday for three weeks doesn't sound bad but trust me it's horrible. i went in the bathroom today and i swear there was a ghost making noises while i was peeing which was one of the many bad decisions i've made today. the worst part is i'm missing strollers rehearsals until august. i'm never failing a class (that i have to take in summerschool) again. maannn

I'll make it while you're asleep

2008-07-11T17:17:00.003-04:00

i'd build myself up & fly around in circles.
wait, then as my heart drops,
and my back begins to tingle
finally, could this be it?

enjoy!

2008-07-08T21:13:00.007-04:00

kim von d: find me a cute boy
heaaather baby: yeah right next cute boy i find is mine.
kim von d: bullshit i am in need of some, more than you.
heaaather baby: true that.
heaaather baby: HAHAHAHA JK
kim von d: LMAO

so kim is officially a sex addict. today was fun but the beach gets boring after a while. sometimes i just wanna sleep there all day but i know eventually some random mexican guy is gonna come pick me up and put me in his car and rape me or something like that. and i'm officially black. (emotionally and physically) tomorrow we have a strollers concert then i don't know what i'm doing. its soso hahaha

fifth of july

2008-07-05T08:07:00.007-04:00

look at the picture my brother took of a drunk man. and look his index finger looks wonderful there. hahahaha. this year was essentially better than last, despite the fact that i wanted to go out more. funny how as soon as i got home i fell dead on the couch. the smoke outside really aggravates me. everytime i smell it i think about my house burning down. so last night i had this really good dream. only the people in it were somewhat different. personality-wise. and i really wish they were like that in real life haha but i guess you can't have everything. i don't know if what i want will help me or hurt me but i know that i want it. of course i don't wanna write my whole dream on this thing, that would be embaressing hahhaha. sometimes i wish people could see what they are capable of, because it could help them for the better.

don't cry out, you're happier than you were before, at least

2008-07-01T19:41:00.004-04:00

I think it's sad when little kids get older. They're not cute anymore and they learn how to get away with things and they're sneaky. It's depressing.

Sooo, today Sarah's going into heart surgery. Well she's actually probably in it right now, and all I can do is pray for her. It's weird when people that you actually know and are related to go through things like this, because when someone you don't really know does, naturally you don't really care. It makes me appreciate life more. I can't imagine losing anyone that's really that close to me.

Be kind, because everyone you come across is fighting a hard battle.

raise your glass high, a toast to wherever we go

2008-07-01T09:37:00.003-04:00

i've been thinking, let's get out of this party
these kids never meant much to me.

somehow you look right through me

2008-06-30T08:14:00.003-04:00

This was the cutest movie ever! I actually think that's what's gonna happen to us. After 700 years, there's gonna be so much pollution that we have to live in space and we won't do anything and we'll get fat. Sad, right?

2008-06-29T18:25:00.000-04:00

i guess i made it easy

2008-06-28T14:03:00.004-04:00

I'm marrying each and every one of them. My life would be complete. So, today my baby brother's turning 8. The years go by so fuckin' fast, it's crazy. Three years, three more years and i'm done. It's funny how things change so quickly, just by a few weeks or phone calls. As of right now, things are just going the way they want to and I have nothing to do with it. With the people around me that have already been through the stage and age I'm going through right now, it goes to show that things will always kinda-sorta be the same, just situations change. I remember when I was younger I would always tell myself things would change drastically when I turned 16. Although things have changed, it was nothing drastic, unless you think technically. I haven't changed, my outlook on life changed. Although, that changes daily. I have this thing, where everything that happens throughout the course of one day, I stick with it and keep in my head all day long, wondering how that will effect the future. It's a "would it/should it/could it?" kind of thing. It's something I get from my mom. Except not as bad, she has the disorder, I don't. I think I should, because I really fuck myself up in the head alot, especially lately. Fortunately, I'm content with how things are going, despite the fact that in Boston, it's in the 60's, and as usual, all Virginia's weather does is fuck up nice hair, and give you skin cancer.

2008-06-23T09:41:00.000-04:00

i forgot i forgot!

SARAH'S COMING HOME IN TWO WEEKS!

2008-06-03T15:07:00.002-04:00

today was fuckin' good! except for the fact that my english powerpoint sucked but whatever. health was weaaak & i love kym & her outfit. me, steph & vada were reading the spanish ads where they stole our products! dooood

i'm so glad summer is here. even though i'm gonna be busy making up a whole bunch of stuff, i'm just glad that i'm not gonna be at granby five days a week seeing the same people. i'm just ready for some new shit forreal tho'

2008-06-02T16:01:00.002-04:00

te aseguro.

2008-06-02T15:56:00.000-04:00

daaaamn, everyone makes mistakes & i've definitely learned my lesson. angelica marie is always there no matter what & i'm thankful.

i'm glad i have the chance to just start over. that's all i want.
& if people wanna ruin that, they can try, but my skin's gotten thicker this past year
so try me

so this is the way it goes

2008-05-14T16:57:00.003-04:00

at many points in your life, you have to move on. the longer you take before you move on, the more it hurts. but i need a change, i can't keep this up.

when you fell out of the stupid tree, you hit every branch on the way down

2008-05-12T20:16:00.003-04:00

today was fun, i chilled with krista & sheila and took cute pictures and played rockband & sucked. i miss sheila alot. we grew up together & we've learned that we need to stay close, because anything can happen.

i'm working on my research paper. :( poop. poooop. i'm cold.

the best day ever

2008-05-10T08:06:00.003-04:00

is still yet to come!

this week was so exhausting. as a matter of fact, this year has been so exhausting. i just want school to be over & summertime to start. honestly, i don't think anybody, not even people that are close to me, understand how much things have changed for me ever since September. i know everyone can say what they want, but you really can't know unless you were there with me through it. the only thing i still rely on from the beginning is my faith. at least that love is unconditional. & i don't want to gain another friend when i lose another, friendship isn't a replacement, or a commitment. it's sharing & enjoying eachother's company.

it's like me & baby. we enjoy eachother's company until i kick his ass (:
we've grown together & learned from eachother, and that's what i need, someone to give me a reality check and to open my eyes when i'm falling asleep. someone that will give me the truth about everything, that's the way it should be.

i'm gonna go back to sleep now. night (:

dear sarah,

2008-05-07T15:48:00.002-04:00

i love you so much. i can't believe this is happening. all i want is for you to be happy and healthy and here with your family and friends and not stuck in a fucking hospital bed being airlifted everywhere for your heart to get fixed. god, i cannot live without you and you know how close we are, we're not only cousins but we're like sisters too. i'm praying for you ever second until you come home sarah. we all love and miss you so much ..